Between Duty and Desire

Posted on Sat Oct 3rd, 2026 @ 9:44am by Commander Wesley Evans & Lieutenant Jaina Zalla

1,057 words; about a 5 minute read

The corridor outside Lieutenant Jaina Zalla's quarters was quieter than most of the Eclipse. It was late in the ship's evening, and most of the crew who had finished their shifts had retreated to their quarters or the crew lounge. The steady vibration of the ship's engines was the only constant sound, accompanied occasionally by the soft footsteps of someone passing through the corridor. Jaina stood just inside her quarters, staring at the reflection of herself in the small mirror near the door. She had changed out of her duty uniform. That alone should have been enough to make the evening feel different, but it didn't. She folded her arms, studying herself for another moment before the chime sounded. Jaina's eyes moved toward the door as she called "Come in".

The door opened, revealing Commander Wesley Evans, looking much as he always did when he wasn't on duty: relaxed, composed, but with a hint of tiredness around his eyes. "Hi," he said.

Jaina's expression softened. "Hi," she replied, waving her hand to indicate he should step inside.

Wesley stepped inside, and the doors closed behind him. For a moment, he simply stood there.

Jaina gestured toward the seating area. "Have a seat," she said.

Wesley nodded and moved toward the couch, sitting down on one end.

Jaina followed, taking the opposite side rather than sitting immediately beside him.

That small distance seemed deliberate, Wesley noticed. "So," he began. "Was there a particular reason you asked me to come here?"

Jaina looked down at her hands. "There was," she said before falling quiet. The silence that followed stretched longer than either expected. Finally, Jaina looked up. "I've been thinking about us."

Wesley's expression changed slightly. "Us?" he asked carefully.

"Yes," Jaina said as she leaned back against the couch. "I don't think either of us has really talked about what this is."

Wesley nodded slowly. "No. We haven't," he said. "We've spent a lot of time together, and there's been the sex, but we've never really talked about what this is."

Jaina gave him a faint smile. "I care about you, Wesley," she said. "That's what makes this difficult. Because we're officers and we work together. You're the Chief Medical Officer and I'm the Chief of Security. We're supposed to be able to walk into a briefing room and argue about something without wondering what happened between us the night before."

Wesley nodded. "And because you're afraid it could affect your judgment in a critical situation," he said.

Jaina looked at him. "Yes," she said.

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "You're thinking of Adelphous," he said. "You're worried that in another situation similar to that mission, your judgement will be compromised and more than just two officers will die because you're worried more about one person than the team as a whole."

"It's not just you," Jaina said. "I'd be more worried about me, and if the possibility ever came that I have children, either with your or someone else, I wouldn't be able to perform my duties at all."

"I think you're getting ahead of yourself," Wesley said. "Let's focus on the here and now. You're still fresh off of the Adelphous mission, and now the Eclipse is heading into an unknown situation beyond Federation space. We know that one ship has already been destroyed, and we're most likely no match for who or what destroyed the Wright. You're afraid of failing to do your job and keep this ship and her crew safe, and more so for me because we have feelings for each other."

Jaina looked toward the view port. The stars were almost imperceptibly moving beyond the glass as the Eclipse continued toward Morska. "We've already been through enough together," she said quietly. "The Wright, who or whatever destroyed her may be waiting for us at Morska. And every time something happens, you're the person I find myself looking for." Jaina swallowed. "I don't know what that means."

"I think you do." Wesley's voice remained quiet as he spoke. "I think it means you trust me, maybe even have begun to feel love for me."

Jaina considered that for a long moment before she shifted closer. It wasn't close enough to touch him, but it was enough to close some of the distance. "I've spent a long time keeping people at arm's length," she admitted.

"I know," Wesley said with a soft chuckle. "You don't exactly make it easy for people to get close."

Jaina smiled. "Occupational hazard of being a professional security officer, I guess. But this is something that I don't want to be something we regret," she said.

"You're thinking of Alesia," Wesley said.

Jaina nodded silently. The words that Alesia had spoken had hurt, perhaps more than she had intended, and the sting from them still haunted Jaina more than she wanted to admit.

"We take it slowly and honestly," Wesley said as he reached out and gently took her hand in his.

Jaina's fingers curled gently around his and she closed her eyes for a moment before she finally shook her head. "I can't do this," she finally said as she withdrew her hand.

Wesley leaned away, giving her space. "Do what?" he asked.

"This, us, anything romantic," Jaina said. "I hoped that I could, but I can't right now."

Wesley nodded and stood. "I understand," he said.

Jaina stood, mostly to stop him from leaving. "I'm not saying no to sex, but I can't do a romantic relationship right now," she said.

Wesley paused, torn between the options before him. He finally shook his head. "Jaina, I can't do a casual relationship like that. I feel that I'd just be using you, and honestly I'd also feel that you would be using me as well. It would be a lie if I said that I didn't want to have sex with you, but I need something more than just something meaningless. I'm sorry."

Jaina nodded silently, knowing that he was right, however much she hated it. She finally turned away and took a step back. "You should go, then," she said.

Wesley stood there for a moment, then nodded. Turning, he walked out of Jaina's quarters. Pausing in the corridor as the doors slid closed, he sighed before he turned and headed towards sickbay.

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